Love Jenuine

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So I’ve been away for a while, nearly 16-months to be exact, and 2016 has been my most challenging year yet, and here’s why….

On the 27th December 2015 we lost my Grandad to a stroke, in January we had an almighty party to say our goodbyes, and what a fantastic send-off but such a sad way to start the year.

January also brought the news my agency had a lost a large contract, this later led to the agency closing (which i believe was for the best), therefore I was made redundant. Having worked at this agency for 8 years I knew nothing else…but maybe this is the change I needed.

Three weeks before my wedding a dormant cyst on my shoulder became infected and I had to have emergency surgery and was left with an open wound. Not only wouldn’t this be healed by the time I got married but it involved daily trips to the Drs to get my dressing changed, which my husband-to-be had to master so he could do it for the duration of our honeymoon. Plus I couldn’t drive or exercise and struggled managing harry as I couldn’t lift him.

May arrived and our wedding was amazing! It literally flew by, it was worth all the stress and chaos. We had an amazing day, we got very drunk with all of our favourite people. Our honeymoon was the trip of a lifetime, we flew to Hawaii (This place truly is paradise) , flew back to LA, drove up the west coast in an open-top-mustang to the Big Sur, and on to San Francisco. Couple of days sightseeing, and then back to our little boy.

The first four months of the year had been totally overwhelming, and not until we went on honeymoon had I stopped, then did I realise I didn’t have a plan….I always have a plan…..sh*t!!!

After 4 weeks at home with Harry, an opportunity came up a stones-throw away from home (well in comparison to my previous 90 minute daily commute), it was part-time and right up my street. However things can never be that simple…..Not long after my second interview I found out I was pregnant (we basically got pregnant the weekend of our wedding, not part of my ‘non-existing plan’ –  whole other post coming!).

So, I went for my third interview, but I couldn’t walk-away without saying something. I was shaking I was so nervous, but that proved to me how much I wanted this role, and I couldn’t go ahead unless I was 100% honest. I dropped the bombshell and left them to discuss, and later that day they offered me the job,  it was a 6-month freelance contract but with the opportunity to go back once the baby was born! AMAZING!!!

At our 12 weeks scan we got high-risk for Down Syndrome again, we opted for the harmony test, which Wrexham NHS offered for free (Only some NHS offer this service FOC – and only if you’re high-risk).  Thankfully we got the all clear.

As we are soon to be four, we definitely needed a new house. Our house has been perfect for our little family and a great first home, but with a fourth member on the way, we need more space. We found an adorable cottage (that we had to fight off lots of other people for) that has been extended to more than double the original size. Its just what we were looking for – something full of character, but with lots of space! Its perfect, and fingers crossed we should be moving in January 2017 – a great start to a new year.

This year has been beyond challenging (though I wouldn’t change anything about it) with the above being a very very brief summary of my ups and downs, but there’s something I haven’t mentioned in here, that has had a huge impact on my life and that’s anxiety and depression. This I need to write about in my next post so stay tuned…

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I am 31 years old, I am engaged, own my own home, have a gorgeous 11 month old son, and I guess you could say so far I have a sucesful career. Is this normal for most entering their thirties? Who knows?

A few decades ago, I would of been deemed by society as too old to be having kids, and living out of wedlock would have been a sin.

I was never one of those girls who grew up dreaming of their wedding day, or meeting the man of their dreams, settling down and having children. I dreamt of having a successful career, making a difference, and being independant. Rather than putting an age on getting married, I would put an age on what job I wanted, and earning enough to afford little luxuries. Only five years ago I had none of the above and if you’d of asked me then if I would of been in this position now I probably would of laughed.

I hear friends, colleagues and even strangers talk about what you should of achieved by the time you’re 30. Typically people want to of travelled in their 20’s, and then be married / engaged, own a property, be considering children, and earning a decent salary by their early 30’s.

Is it society putting pressure on people to have this expectation?

Is it our peers?

So if you reach you 30 and have all of the above are you then deemed successful?

In my opinion age is just a number, you only have one go at life, and its YOUR life, no one elses. I came about this post for a couple of reasons. Recently a couple of friends who will be turning 30 next year having been writing bucket lists, changing up their lives and making important decisions, and they have all said “oh but I’m going to be 30 next year, and I don’t have [a husband, a baby, a house a career]”, but I want to shake them and tell them to go enjoy their lives, they have plenty of time to do all that.

Another reason I wrote this was because of a montage we did in work, each person had to write in two words what we would of said to our younger selves. I found this too hard to do in two words, so I just suggested ‘no regrets’. I dont think people should regret anything as what ever decison you made at the time, you would of done for a very valid reason, and there is no point on dwelling on things you can’t change. However my favourite came from our Creative Partner, he nailed it with ‘Trust Dreams’, I realy think dreams can be achieved if you put your mind to it….and stop wasting time thinking about where and what you should have by the young age of 30.

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So what does everyone else think?

Does society have a checklist of where you should be at the age of 30?

What would your two words of advice be to your younger self?

Join me and post a selfie with your #wizewords to your younger self.

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