I am 31 years old, I am engaged, own my own home, have a gorgeous 11 month old son, and I guess you could say so far I have a sucesful career. Is this normal for most entering their thirties? Who knows?
A few decades ago, I would of been deemed by society as too old to be having kids, and living out of wedlock would have been a sin.
I was never one of those girls who grew up dreaming of their wedding day, or meeting the man of their dreams, settling down and having children. I dreamt of having a successful career, making a difference, and being independant. Rather than putting an age on getting married, I would put an age on what job I wanted, and earning enough to afford little luxuries. Only five years ago I had none of the above and if you’d of asked me then if I would of been in this position now I probably would of laughed.
I hear friends, colleagues and even strangers talk about what you should of achieved by the time you’re 30. Typically people want to of travelled in their 20’s, and then be married / engaged, own a property, be considering children, and earning a decent salary by their early 30’s.
Is it society putting pressure on people to have this expectation?
Is it our peers?
So if you reach you 30 and have all of the above are you then deemed successful?
In my opinion age is just a number, you only have one go at life, and its YOUR life, no one elses. I came about this post for a couple of reasons. Recently a couple of friends who will be turning 30 next year having been writing bucket lists, changing up their lives and making important decisions, and they have all said “oh but I’m going to be 30 next year, and I don’t have [a husband, a baby, a house a career]”, but I want to shake them and tell them to go enjoy their lives, they have plenty of time to do all that.
Another reason I wrote this was because of a montage we did in work, each person had to write in two words what we would of said to our younger selves. I found this too hard to do in two words, so I just suggested ‘no regrets’. I dont think people should regret anything as what ever decison you made at the time, you would of done for a very valid reason, and there is no point on dwelling on things you can’t change. However my favourite came from our Creative Partner, he nailed it with ‘Trust Dreams’, I realy think dreams can be achieved if you put your mind to it….and stop wasting time thinking about where and what you should have by the young age of 30.
So what does everyone else think?
Does society have a checklist of where you should be at the age of 30?
What would your two words of advice be to your younger self?
Join me and post a selfie with your #wizewords to your younger self.
11 years ago my life changed forever. I not only moved to Manchester, started uni, and began a new chapter of my life, but more importantly I met my best friend. Miss Katy G stood next to me in the queue to collect our accommodation keys. If I remember correctly, we were both with our Mums and we began gabbing away. We parted ways to go find our new rooms only to meet again ten minutes later as we both pulled up outside the same building and our rooms were practically opposite each other.
I had moved in to a house with nine other girls, but it was Katy that I clicked with instantly. Once we started chatting, we discovered we lived just 20 minutes from each other. Katy had gone to the same college as my sister and even sat next to her boyfriend in one of her classes. Small world! We became inseparable at Uni, living together for the entire duration, never missing a night out together and even working together. But when the time came to graduate, our lives lead us down different paths. Katy stayed up north in Manchester and bought a house with her then boyfriend, whilst I moved down South to start my career in the Big Smoke.
Eight years later and our lives are still on completely different paths, yet we still remain the best of friends. After partying my way through my twenties, I am now settled in London, living with my Fiance and our Baby Boy in our family home, attempting to juggle motherhood with my career in advertising. Katy settled down for a few years, but in 2012 she made a life-changing decision to go jet-setting around the world. She has since travelled around Asia, moved to France for 18 months, learnt the language, bagged a new French boyfriend, and both can currently be found somewhere in South America. Who knows where she will end up next (hopefully within visiting distance).
We may be miles apart, but the one thing I do know is that no matter where in the world we are, when we get together to catch up (even if that means having a cuppa together via skype) it’s like no time has passed and we spoke just yesterday. A chat with Katy is like therapy for me, she is always honest, she always knows what to say, and never fails to make me laugh! Together we’ve been through heartbreaks and holidays, house moving and house buying we’ve been there for each other through the career bumps and the career triumphs (me with a recent promotion and Katy writing her first book!) and now, even a Baby.
I was lucky enough to get a fresh dose of ‘Friend Therapy’ recently when Katy and Greggers (the French beau) stopped over with us for a few days before they jetted off to Rio. With all the change in my life recently – going back to work, introducing Harry to nursery, turning a year older – it was the perfect timing for some much needed ‘Friend Therapy’. I needed a good old chinwag, and having Katy around for the whole weekend really did the trick. We didn’t do any overly exciting (well except for meeting Katy’s book mentor!!), just stayed in, drank lots of tea and lots of wine and played with Harry, just normal things best friends do.
Roll on the next 11 years of Katy and Jen’s adventures!!
(To follow Katy on her South American adventures, follow her blog NotWedordead)