Whilst pregnant I read so many blogs, and forums, spent half my time between mumsnet.com and netmums.com, Googling every movement, craving, and change in my body. Reading other peoples experiences really put me at ease. I have decided to document my own experiences which may then be useful for anyone else expecting in the future (over a couple of posts), especially as we had some difficult decisions along the way.
Having children has always been on my agenda, but getting a career was always my priority. I wanted to give myself a good start, before taking a break for children. Everyone always says ‘there is never a right time to have children’ this is totally true! There is always a promotion, or holiday, or big event like buying a house, or moving house, that wouldn’t be practical if you’re pregnant. We had been in our house two years so felt 2012/3 would be a good time.
My partner and I had discussed having children and being the organised one, of course I had a checklist of things to achieve before babies came along
– be in the right job, earning enough to provide for a stable life
– own my own home
– be debt free (as much as possible, a mortgage doesn’t count)
– be married
I could tick the first three, whereas our body clocks were ticking, a wedding could wait, as could the expense, instead we decided to spend our money on having a family.
We found out I was pregnant in March 2013, we were over-the-moon, and couldn’t wait to tell people, but having been through a miscarriage 6 months earlier, we decided to stay stum until we were a few more weeks. We agreed to share our news with one person each, our best friends. Then we told our immediate families at around 7 weeks, and the rest of our family and friends once we had our initial scan at 12 weeks.
I decided to tell my bosses at about 8 weeks, mainly as my role is very stressful, we had a lot going on, and I was feeling incredibly tired but thank-god no morning sickness. I know this was fairly premature, but I have a close relationship with my managing team, ‘we’re like a family so it felt like the right thing to do. It was fantastic once everyone could share our news, and within our family and friends we had such a great support system, however nothing could have prepared us for the shock we were about to receive at our 12 week scan…